Welcome to the first installment of the Married Money Management series here at Engaged Marriage where we will be looking at the keys to financial success for married couples. Please be sure to subscribe by email or RSS so you don’t miss out on the tips, strategies and personal experiences that will be shared over the next nine (or more) weeks.
The first and most important step to achieving financial success in your marriage is to make a budget. Put simply, a budget allows you to tell your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.
Some couples are reluctant to create a budget for their household finances because they think it’s too difficult, too confining or they honestly just don’t want to know how poorly they’ve been handling their money. While I can definitely relate to these feelings, the fact remains that creating a budget and living with a plan are absolutely essential.
Our First Big Mistake!
In the first few years of our marriage, we thought we could live just fine without a budget. Believe it or not, I actually read Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace right after we got married when a co-worker suggested I give it a look.
Well, I loved the book and thought Dave’s advice was excellent. We decided we’d try some of his strategies…but we thought we could do it without bothering with a budget.
We’ll get much deeper into our own story as this series progresses, but suffice it to say that doing things our way resulted in the accumulation of more than $54,000 in debt and years of unnecessary financial stress. Knowing what we know now, this is really frustrating.
In hindsight, it’s very easy to see where we went astray. We skipped the most critical step in the journey to financial peace. We were too stupid and stubborn to create a budget for our household.
Please don’t repeat our mistake. If you desire more financial success, you must have a budget!
Budgeting Basics
Based on the reactions I’ve heard from both close friends and Engaged Marriage readers, I know that some couples are intimidated by the idea of a budget and feel that it’s too complicated or cumbersome for them to take on. Please know that a budget can be as thorough or basic as you decide to make it.
Basically, a budget is a summary of your financial “ins and outs” during a given month. You just write down all of your income for the month and all of your expenses and you have a record for that month. When you use that information to plan ahead for the next month, you’ve got yourself a budget!
This can literally be as simple as writing down your income and expenses on a sheet of paper. The key is to track your expenses for a few months so that you can accurately project your needs for the next month.
The most basic way to do this is to keep receipts for all of your expenses for two months. You can then use this information to establish a baseline in your spending habits. Take a look at these habits and decide if and where you need to make cuts to meet your goals or if you need more income. Put the revised spending and/or earning amounts down on paper to plan for the next month, and your budget is all set.
A budget does not have to be complicated or overly detailed. It must account for every dollar you earn and spend, and it must be agreed upon as a couple. Aside from those two basic rules, it can take any form that you desire. And please note that it will likely take several months of trial and error before you zero in on an accurate budget.
Bethany and I used homemade Excel budget spreadsheets and manual tracking of our receipts for several years. It worked just fine, and it provided the information and motivation that we needed to attack our debt and live within our means.
We have since “graduated” from those manual efforts and realized the power and (awesome) simplicity of using budgeting software. I’m now convinced that this is the best solution for most couples, but I also can’t discount the progress we made with our more intensive, handmade methods of budgeting.
Budgeting Tools Are Your Friend
There came a time after we became debt-free that we found ourselves slipping back into old habits and getting sloppy with our budget. It was then that I decided it was time to look into options beyond our Excel spreadsheet and keeping a receipt for every purchase we made to track our spending.
Frankly, we had become so busy and bored with this approach that we would sometimes get a month or two behind in tallying up our spending and fail to even plan ahead, which defeats much of the purpose of budgeting.
Even though we used these manual methods of budgeting to get out of debt and meet other financial goals, we decided it was time to use technology to our advantage and make our efforts more sustainable. I tried out most of the popular options for budgeting software and wrote a review based our experiences. I encourage you to read my budgeting software reviews and see which option fits your family’s needs. Any of these options (free or premium) make it so much easier and less time consuming to get your budget working versus doing it on your own.
After a lot of research and trials, we found that the best budgeting tool for our family is a software called You Need A Budget. I can’t say enough good things about YNAB, and they now have an iPhone App available and an Android App under development to make it even easier to track and plan. If you think that budget software would be helpful in your situation, please take a moment to read my full review of You Need A Budget based on our experiences.
If you decide to give YNAB a try, you’ll be able to get started on your budget today by importing your electronic transactions from the past two months to know where you’ve been with your spending. As a couple, you can then decide what needs to change, quickly set up a plan for next month and then start following it.
You could literally have your budget ready to go in a matter of a few hours using this technology. While premium software like this is not free, we’ve found that it’s money well spent. In most cases, you’ll save much more than the software cost simply by getting started and tracking your spending, earning and saving habits.
Budgeting Benefits for Your Marriage
The benefits of budgeting within marriage actually go way beyond laying the foundation for financial success. Budgeting your money can actually be an awesome way to enhance the communication and trust in your relationship.
Build Communication
If you are married, both spouses should have input in the budgeting process. This is really a critical component of any budget that is actually going to work, which means that it is respected and followed by the entire family.
After all, why would you follow a plan that you may not agree with or that you feel has been forced upon you? This is why communication is key to the budgeting process. You and your spouse need to sit down together and discuss your financial goals and decide in advance how you want to use your money.
This doesn’t mean that you have to combine all areas of your financial life or change the way you spend money. While there may certainly be value in doing so, you can build your budget to accommodate joint or separate bank accounts, cash or credit card spending, and frugal or extravagant spending habits.
After all, this is your budget designed for your particular family’s situation. You are in control…together.
It’s also totally fine if the “nerdier” spouse wants to create the draft budget and then get input from the other. But there must be input and “buy-in” from both husband and wife that the final budget is a spending plan that they agree to stick to.
Again, this could be a plan to spend beyond your means and rack up crazy amounts of debt. I hope it’s not, and most couples don’t plan to go deeply in debt, but the point is that you will communicate about your goals and decide together how to use your family’s financial resources.
That is the real beauty of building a budget for your own family and your own situation.
Build Trust
After you’ve sat down together and figured out your spending plan for the coming month, it’s time to put your money where your mouth was and spend as you have both agreed. When a budget is in place, you can feel good about spending as you have planned. However, you’ll have accountability to deal with when you are tempted to go astray.
Think back to the last time you spent a lot of money on something impulsively without talking to your spouse first. Was it part of your overall financial plan? Did you have a bit of buyer’s remorse afterward? How did your spouse react when they found out about your big purchase?
You and your spouse create the budget and you control what it says. However, once you agree to it and you commit to each other that you’ll stick with the spending plan, you have an ongoing promise to your spouse to uphold.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t buy something that’s not part of the budget. However, it does mean that you need to give your husband or wife a call to make sure they agree there’s good reason to change your mutual financial plan to accommodate it. And the two of you can decide on the limit where the other needs to be consulted when a “spending audible” gets called.
Simply put, it means that you must trust your spouse to be financially responsible, and you must hold up your end of the agreement to them as well.
Communication builds a budget and trust makes it work.
Go Take The First Step Today: Build a Budget!
Regardless of whether you decide to start with a pen and paper or a software tool, the most important takeaway from this post is that you must have a budget. It’s vital for your financial success, and it’s a valuable marriage-building practice as well.
If you already have a budget, that’s fantastic. Take some time to review it together and decide whether it still meets your needs and financial goals. If you don’t have a budget yet, please do your marriage a favor and go get one!
After all, it’s the first step to effective Married Money Management.
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Check out the original post and leave a comment on the blog here: Married Money Management Step 1: Make a Budget
Related posts:
- Marriage And Money: How To Improve Communication And Minimize Money Fights
- Holy Crap! I Eat Out A Lot!
- Budget Software Reviews: Choose Your Tool for Successful Money Management
In the early years of our marriage, money was not a fun subject as we struggled with a lot of debt and only a little understanding of the importance of financial harmony in our life together. We had no plan and just followed the (really, really poor) example of money management we witnessed among our friends and in our culture as a whole.
I almost had a heart attack last week.
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